Deal or No Deal

Escorted by my legal advisor (aka: Roger), I headed to Greenville tonight to plead my case on a traffic ticket I received on December 13th. I remember the day well. It was a Thursday, the first day of the mono-saga. I had an appointment with the doctor,and I was racing to beat the winter storm.

When the officer approached, I started weeping - couldn't find my registration - shocked that I (the slowest driver on the planet) would get a speeding ticket! If one only knew how many times I have bugged our village officials about speeding on Wash. Ave.

Anyway, the officer didn't feel that bad for me, she only reduced my speed from 52 miles per hour to 50 (in a 35).

With all of the medical melodramatics, I must have erased the traffic ticket from my memory until Roger reminded me as if a belated Christmas present that I had to appear on Dec.26th should I wish to contest the ticket. I was soooo out of it that I just asked Roger to take care of it - pay the fine, or whatever....But Roger called the judge on my behalf and had the case adjourned until tonight. Roger thought I had a good case to contest the ticket.

So tonight when the judge learned that my original appearance date was December 26, he said "TOO BAD...the day after Christmas, I would have let you off!!! Just my luck - a judge with a sense of humor.

So we started the proceedings. I told him that I wanted clarification from the officer on the location where I was found speeding because I recall there being a 50 mile speed limit sign only a few yards from where I was pulled over. Luckily for me, the officer wasn't there.... I added that maybe I was accelerating as I approached the increase in speed. He asked me where I was exactly, but I couldn't remember, but I knew that I was close to where there was a 50 MPH sign. Then I blurted out some true but incoherent nonsense like "I am a safe and prudent driver" (my legal advisor's words).

The judge then began to ramble on about my legal options. It all went over my head. I heard words like "trial" and "DA" and "jury"....And then he repeated how had I been in the court on December 26th, he would have let me off.

I couldn't help myself. I got the sense that he was messing with me....so I took a little risk, that had Roger shaking in his shoes.

"Judge (pause), so what's the difference between December 26th and today?"

He looked up at me (I think he smiled), and all I remember is more rambling about his Christmas spirit, his trip to Aruba, his grandchildren......more legalize.....and the words "PARKING TICKET....$25.00"

PHEW!!!!!! Thanks Judge!