Translating for a Toddler

Here are certain phrases that Alan uses regularly should you ever need a translation.

“Let’s play with pea pods”: This means that Alan wants to go in the back yard to ride his fire truck in our driveway. It was derived from a tree which I have yet to identify which litters my back yard with ugly black pea pods. Sometimes he will say “play with rocks” which has a similar translation but also includes throwing stones.

“Bye-bye bath, hello Burrito”
This is a song created by Roger to signal Alan that it’s time for him to get out of the bath tub. When you wrap Alan in a towel, he looks like a burrito. Because they also bang on the bathroom wall during this routine, Alan now sings it at parades when he hears drummers passing by in marching bands.

“Can I have regular cheese” – this is American cheese as opposed to “stick cheese” which is actually string mozzarella cheese.

“Wanna play with Free” – Alan’s fleet of vehicles includes a shiny green plastic vehicle which he has named “Free”. We believe the name came from the sign which was attached to the vehicle when Roger grabbed it from a neighbor who had abandoned it on the side of the road. Other names include: Buster, Roamie, Blue Hippo and Popper. (The fire truck has no specific name, but he knows when it’s sleeping.)

"Fly me to the moon" - This one is very important should you be taking Alan to the park. He wants you to sing this Sinatra favorite while you push him on the swing. There is a technique. You have to hold him up high, then sing "fly me to the moon" pausing after each word to build up the anticipation, then as you say "moon", you have to let go and watch him fly.

“I want broken shells” – Macaroni and cheese are a staple in a child’s diet. When I was out of shell pasta, I panicked. I boiled up another type of pasta and told him it was broken shells. Now he requests “broken shells” as well as “tubies” (which he calls boobies), “trees” and “flowers”.

“Go see the lonely fan” – We all know that Alan has a love of fans. The lonely fan is located at the Inquiring Mind Bookstore around the corner. I have yet to figure out why the fan is lonely.

“Go see Tiff” – This means that Alan wants to go to the library. Tiffany works there.

“I’m packing a load” – We thank Pop-Pop for this one. I’m not sure if an explanation is necessary, but Alan primarily says this when he needs a diaper change. But sometimes he says it when he hears us talking about Pop-Pop. (Be careful Pop-Pop, remember how Bootie got her nickname)